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Well, what is the trouble? You are looking rather unwell, I must say.

You had better ask me what is not trouble with me, sir. It seems to me that I’m suffering all the illnesses imaginable: headaches, earache, insomnia, indigestion, pains in the stomach, muscle pain, appetite loss. And to make things worse I’ve caught a cold, I’ve got a sore throat and so I am sneezing and coughing all the time. I feel hot and feverish. I got short of breath. Actually, I more dead than alive.

I am sorry to hear that. Anyway I don’t think things are so bad as you can imagine. Let me have a look at you. I’d like to sound your chest. Your heart, chest and lungs seem to me not bad. Now let me see you throat. Yes. It looks a bit sore. Show me your tongue. Have you taken your temperature?

Not yet, but I guess I should.

Well, I don’t find anything radically wrong with you. But it’s clear that you’re run down and if you don’t take care of yourself, you may have a nervous breakdown. So first of all I advise you to stop worrying. Take some rest, have regular meals, keep off alcohol. If possible, give up smoking, at least for a time. Have this tonic made up and take 1 tablespoon three times a day before meals.

What about diet, doctor?

Well, keep to a diet of salads and fruit, and a bit meat. If you do this I can promise you soon full recovery.

But if I don’t?

You have to decide what is the lesser evil – to follow my advice or prepare for a better world. And one more thing. Keep off accidents so that you neck, arms and legs were not hurt.